Friday, August 5, 2011

Why vs How

A Scottish guy told me that you can tell someone is Scottish if instead of saying “why” they say “how.” Like:

“Can you help me me bring my bags upstairs?”

Instead of us saying:

“Why, you lazy fuck?”

they would say:


A few drinks later my friend was trying to think of another example of using “how” instead of “why” in a sentence. After several failed attempts my friend said:

“So what if you said ‘I slapped that bitch in the face.’”

The Scottish guy looked horrified and said:

“No mate- then you would just saw ‘why!’ Why? Why would you ever do that?”

Just spreading American love and peace all over the British Isle.

I’ve finally gotten used to the fact that coins are real money here, not just things you dump into a jar when you get home. I made that mistake the second day I was here. I got a coffee it was 2.50 so I thought I’d leave 50 pence as a tip, so I was handed back a bill and a bunch of change, put the change in the tip jar, sat back down. The waitress came out and grabbed all of my fliers and told me she would tell all her friends about my show. I was like "man she is really into me." When i left the cafe and looked in my wallet I realized that she wasn't into me, that I had just left a shit load of money.

I bet it must be hard to be a stripper in the UK. In the US we just slide a dollar in their G-String, here I guess they just pelt them with pounds.

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